


Dreams are more precious

by RickardoTheAvacardo, Sardon



Series: Sardon's stories [1]
Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Hathaways brain/ mind, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Music, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-02 05:55:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4048720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RickardoTheAvacardo/pseuds/RickardoTheAvacardo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sardon/pseuds/Sardon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When James has trouble sleeping , Robbie is always there to help but this time he takes a different approach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreams are more precious

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MissionImpossible](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissionImpossible/gifts).



> A birthday gift for MissionImpossible. For being a fantastic beta reader and an even better mum.  
> Contributed to by Sardon.  
> Set after series 4  
> Technically this is Sardons first fan fiction so any comments are most welcome :)

The past week had been hell for James. The latest case had haunted him in many ways that he could not explain.Robbie had figured out that James had been sacrificing god knows how many late nights and for nearly every case that they were assigned to. But Robbie was no fool; he knew that James drunk numerous amounts of coffee each day just to keep him awake for those long nights spent on going through evidence and trying to work something out.

It reminded him of the time when James had spent all night at the office putting all those photos together on the white board just to help him out. It was an extremely helpful thing to do but Robbie couldn’t help but think that James might have done it anyway but just at home instead, whether Robbie wanted him too or not and it just proved how much time and effort James would put into his job regardless of the effect it may have on him the following morning.

However the latest case was the one that seemed to be harassing him more than any of the cases he and Robbie had done in the past. There was always the odd one or two that got to you and kept pestering you until it forces you to face the fact that the case has beaten you a million miles past your limit. Robbie had experienced times when he felt like a certain case ruled over his mind but unlike James he was better at sharing his thoughts and feelings and he wished for all the world that James could one day do the same.

Just by looking at his friend staring at his computer screen with that serious face was more than enough to tell Robbie that not all was not well with his young sergeant .

After five or more minutes in total silence Robbie could take it no longer. He had to intervene in some way, any way to help the lad realize that he doesn’t have to keep everything locked up in his over complicated mind that he never seemed to be able to rest or control.

“James let’s call it a day lad, I’m bloody shattered”

“Have a nice evening sir” James replied too quickly but of course Robbie noticed the tiny hint that was right in front of his nose.

James” Robbie said more firmly, which caused Hathaway to immediately spin around on the computer chair to look at Robbie. “When I said let’s call it a day I meant that both of us do”.

“Sorry sir” was all James could think of to say.

Robbie let out a small sigh “you’re coming to mine tonight; I need to talk to you" is all Robbie allowed himself to say in a less than private area.

“With all due respect I don’t think there is much to talk about sir” was what Robbie thought was James’s polite way of telling him to sod off; I don’t need to talk to you about anything. But Robbie was not in the mood for Hathaway’s excuses.

“Look this isn’t an offer it’s an order, please try not to get the two mixed up in future” Robbie said in a firm voice.

“Sorry” was all that James could think of to say that would be appropriate for the conversation that neither of them could deny was awkward.

Robbie rubbed his eyes and told Hathaway to meet him at his place at 7pm for dinner and beer (well when he said dinner he meant a takeaway curry but he didn’t think that James would mind).

As for the wine he was trusting Hathaway to supply it for the evening.

  
________________________________________________

As James drove over to Robbie’s a long detailed thought entered his mind. _Why does Robbie want to talk to me? , it’s not like I have anything interesting or important to say. Also why would he want to talk to me out of all people? , I mean I’m not exactly good company at the best of times. If it is just for someone to talk to then why me? , he would be much better off talking to Lyn or Laura than a miserable sod such as myself. Wait he said he needs to talk to me , doesn’t that mean that he has something serious to talk to me about? Oh god I hope it’s got nothing to do with the fact that I haven’t been sleeping well lately! I can just imagine the concern in his voice as he speaks, those bright blue eyes practically pleading me to cooperate . Bloody hell ! How can I be so clever yet so stupid?, anyone could see that he cares about my well-being but I am too caught up in my own misery and complex mind to notice the one person who truly cares and wants to help me. I can’t believe that for the past few months I have been blinded by my own stubbornness to acknowledge the fact that Robbie has patiently been waiting for months or even years for me to break out of my shell and tell him things about my past that I thought I had got over and dealt with, turns out that I can’t even be honest with the one person who actually gives a toss about me. I mean most people would have given up on me months ago but Robbie , he is the only one that I can recall staying by me when things got tough, the only one who has ever saved me from making the biggest mistakes of my life , and how do I show my gratitude? I remain the awkward , irritating sod that I am and the thing that hurts me the most is the fact that Robbie can open up to me about Valerie which I know is the most sensitive and rarely spoken topic of his life and I can’t even do the same with mine._

James sighed and parked his car next to Robbie’s , he was determined to try to actually talk to Robbie good and proper about what has been bothering him for the past week . But with Hathaway somethings were easier said than done.

Half an hour after Hathaway arrived there had been an awfully long silence as neither man knew how to begin their chat. After another 10 minutes of silence they abandoned their idea of talk as both men had their fair share of wine that evening.

A whirl wind of thoughts suddenly entered Robbie’s mind. _For god sake look at the lad, he doesn’t want to be here talking to me. I practically forced him to come here, it’s as if I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to my house. I should just let the lad go home. No! I can’t just give up on him too many people in his life have already done that but not me! , I won’t be like the others I just need to give him time and wait for the day when he breaks free from his awkward shell. Until then I will stay by the lad whatever happens, talking of which I had better let the lad stay the night. He will be far too drunk to drive home at this time of night, and even if I did let him go home it wouldn’t do him much good in fact it would be disastrous, he would end up driving into a ditch or worse. I will just have to be careful not to disturb him too much._

Robbie let out a small sigh and said “James I think you better stay the night , I think we have both been at the wine dare I say a bit too much”.

James turned around to look at the empty wine bottle facing in front of him.

“I think your right sir “he looked at Robbie awkwardly “but I didn’t bring any sleepwear” James pointed out.

“You can borrow my spare pyjamas”.

“Oh thank you sir” James said almost flattered that Robbie was also kind enough to let him borrow his spare sleepwear, which would be another thing for Hathaway to add to his list of Robbie’s kind gestures.

“I’ll set up the spare room for you” Robbie said while yawning.

Thank you sir, I really do appreciate this” James added hoping that it would show just how much he values Robbie’s kindness.

“None of that James “Robbie said before turning around to fetch the spare bed sheets.

Once the spare bed was made up Robbie had told James to get some sleep and to be ready for tomorrow morning.

“Goodnight Robbie” James said quietly as he got into bed.

“Goodnight lad” was Robbie’s reply.

_______________________________________________

After a couple of hours of tossing, turning and restless fidgeting, James had then awoken from his nightmare sweating rapidly and breathing heavily. His eyes darted around the room like a frightened animal as if he was trying to figure out where he was. When he was finally calm enough to know that he wasn’t in any danger James laid back and tried to relax. He then had a sudden urge to tell Robbie that he had just had another of the endless amounts of nightmares but he didn’t want to disturb Robbie especially if they had a busy day ahead of them.

James then turned on the lamp on the bedside table and glanced at his watch which said it was 1:40am. A while later after trying to get back to sleep and failing miserably James stumbled out of bed, drew back the covers so the bed covers looked neat and tidy. He quietly came out of the spare room and silently opened Robbie’s bedroom door and let himself gaze at Robbie who had his back to him and sound asleep as James let his mind wonder.

_Look at him; he looks so peaceful and calm like he has nothing to worry about. I wish that I was able to have the same state of mind as Robbie’s._

Suddenly without a second thought while ignoring the alarm bells ringing in his head, James carefully got the duvet and slid under it very gently hoping not to disturb Robbie’s more than peaceful sleep as James got into the empty side of Robbie’s bed and eased his head onto the soft pillow that lay beneath him .

All of a sudden without warning Robbie jerked and with tired eyes he saw James on the other side of his bed which caused Hathaway’s eyes to widen and leap out of his bed, breathing heavily horrified at what he had just done and now all sorts of things had entered his mind. _What on earth did I do that for?! Now Robbie won’t want anything to do with me and I will be rejected and our friendship will turn to dust and even worse it will yet again be another thing that will be my fault and mine alone._

Robbie just sat up and stared at James , James was just as shocked as Robbie his eyes still wide and was frantically trying to come up with an explanation that would satisfy both himself and Robbie but Robbie’s stare was putting him off and it just made James’s state of mind worse as he began to panic inside.

After the next two minutes of silence as neither man was able to find the right words to start off the conversation that they now had to have. Soon enough it was Robbie who broke the silence.

“James... What were you doing?” Robbie questioned gently as he could see the panic in James’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry sir” James blurted out, the panic and embarrassment clear in his voice.

Robbie rubbed his eyes and yawned before continuing “James what’s wrong lad?”

 _God this was so humiliating!_ Was one of the many thoughts that were racing through Hathaway’s mind.

“Just go back to sleep sir, I’m so sorry for bothering you like that I promise it won’t happen again”

“I’m not letting this drop, we are going to have to talk about this James” Robbie said in a friendly but firm tone.

James sighed and made himself look at Robbie who was looking at James , his facial expression showing concern and worry for James.

Robbie then decided to start the conversation. “Look James I’m not angry or horrified I’m just a bit worried about you that’s all , so I would just like you to tell me what has been going through your mind the past week” Robbie said in a gentle tone which made Hathaway feel safe.

“ I... I just haven’t been sleeping properly lately that’s all , it’s nothing you should worry about and I think it’s best if I went back to the spare room and that we never speak of this again”.

James had turned to leave but Robbie grabbed his arm and spun him around to make James look at him.

“ Don’t go lad we need to talk about this because I can tell that something is eating at you and I’m not letting that go until you tell me”.

Another thought then barged its way into James’s mind. _Come on now’s your chance to tell him he’s right there!_

James walked over to Robbie’s bed and sat down gingerly on the corner of the bed looking sorry for himself.

“So what is it lad?” Robbie asked softly.

James let out a heavy sigh. “Seeing as you want to know what’s bothering me is that I... I just hate sleeping alone, I always feel unsafe when I’m alone especially in the company of my own thoughts”

Robbie put his hand on James’s back and rubbed it in small circles to provide some comfort to the younger man.

“Well to tell you the truth since Valerie died I’ve always hated the fact that I had to sleep alone all night every night and sometimes lad I even imagine that she is there beside me to take away the pain of loneliness for that bit longer , so you’re not alone in feeling that way “.

James looked at Robbie surprised at what he had just revealed to him.

After a minutes silence which for James was spent repeating and absorbing what Robbie had said to him into his mind. Robbie broke the silence “Now we have both had a late night and if we are going to be of any use tomorrow then we need our sleep” Robbie said kindly. James nodded in agreement.

As James got up to leave Robbie called his name which caused him to turn around to look at Robbie who was looking steadily at James. James was about to speak when Robbie beat him to it. “James lad why don’t you sleep next to me that way we will both feel safe and secure”.

At first James thought he had misheard him, but when he repeated it in his mind he realized that what he heard wasn’t his ears playing tricks on him , it was actually a genuine request which he for once couldn’t say no to.

_____________________________________________________________

At 7:00 the alarm clock went off, declaring that it was morning much to James and Robbie’s despair. When Robbie got out of bed he immediately noticed that James was slumped over his side of the bed, with dark circles under his eyes and looking like he could sleep for the next two days.

Robbie walked over towards James and lightly shook his shoulder, “Are you alright lad?” he asked softly. It took James at least a few minutes to respond.

“Yes just fine sir” was James’s tired reply.

Robbie gave him a look of disbelieve before continuing “Stop with the sir James were not at work, and do you really think I’m just going to believe that your fine when there is evidence by your eyes which says to me that your anything but fine” Robbie asked in a light tone.

James sighed and decided to tell Robbie the truth. “Robbie the truth is that what I told you about hating sleeping alone is true but there is something else I didn’t think to tell you last night” James practically forced the words out desperate for Robbie to hear the truth come out of his lips.

Robbie then sat next to James on the bed and took his hand and just squeezed it lightly which made James relax as he told Robbie the real truth.

“This may sound weird ... Robbie but the secret I kept from you last night was ... that ever since my mum passed away when I was 10 I have never slept properly, I have either had nightmares or I just end just lying there awake with only my complex thoughts for company and to stop me from being in that company I work during the night to keep me away from my thoughts”.

All Robbie could do was sit and stare at James, surprised that the lad had finally chosen to open up to him about his feelings. Without thinking Robbie held out his arms and was even more surprised when James went into his arms and hugged him back. Neither man spoke during this time as they both wanted to embrace the moment of honesty from James.

Once they had let go of each other an idea had popped into Robbie’s head of how he could help James to sleep.

__________________________________________________________________________________

After spending the entire afternoon in the office going through paper work Robbie had told James to pack a suitcase of his stuff as both men had agreed that James should stay at Robbie’s for a few nights. Tossing James his spare keys Robbie had told him to wait for him at his flat. James gave Robbie a curious look but soon decided to do what he was told.

When Robbie had finally come home, he had a green carrier bag with him which contained something in the shape of a square. When James asked what it was Robbie’s reply was “It’s something for me to know and for you to find out”.

Having spent the evening watching something pointless and time consuming on the television Robbie glanced at his watch and saw that it was 11:00. “Right lad I think it’s time for bed” Robbie said as he stood up and yawned.

James then nodded in agreement.

Once both men were ready for bed , Robbie opened his wardrobe door and pulled out the item wrapped in the plastic green bag James soon observed that the item was a Cd which read _And the winter came by Enya._

“Enya sir?” James questioned

“Ah yes lad Val used to love a bit of Enya, mostly because it helped her get the kids to sleep if they were ill or if they had a nightmare”

“But I don’t see how this is going to do any good for me “ James replied , clearly exhausted from the way he spoke.

“Aye but there was this one particular song that always used to work every time when it came to comforting the kids and I sort of hoped that... it would do the same for you” Robbie trailed off getting the sudden feeling of awkwardness.

James gave Robbie a small smile before getting into bed while Robbie put the Cd on and skipped over to the track that Robbie wanted to play.

“This track is called dreams are more precious” Robbie said as he slid into bed beside James while James had gently lowered his head onto the pillow as the song began to play.

 _Come! See! High above._  
_Come! See! High in the heavens_  
_A new star shining bright;_  
_Out of the darkness comes a light._

 _Come! Hear midnight chimes._  
_Come! Hear bells that are ringing_  
_And from some distant shore_  
_Sounds of a journey echo on._

_This is the night,_  
_They say,_  
_Everyone wants a dream._  
_This is the night,_  
_They say,_  
_Nothing is as it seems._

_Come! Sleep! Close your eyes._  
_Come! Sleep! Give me your sorrow_  
_And I'll keep watch for you_  
_Until the dawn is breaking through,_  
_Until the morning wakens you._

 _Come! Dream through the night._  
_Come! Dream, and then tomorrow_  
_You'll see your heart will know_  
_Dreams are more precious than gold._

When the song had finished playing Robbie noticed that James was fast asleep , he could hear gentle snores coming from the younger man as he slept a very peaceful sleep.

From that night on Robbie played that song for him every night that James stayed for and let him take the Cd home for James to have when he left the morning after.

But after a few weeks had passed James had begun to feel more confident about sleeping and as the weeks which soon turned into months went by , the Cd became played less often to the point where after a long while it was completely forgotten about along with all James’ nightmares and worries.

**Author's Note:**

> The lyrics shown on the fiction is the song Dreams are more precious by Enya.


End file.
